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A Festive Reminder for Relationships

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As we head into the festive season, many of us are looking forward to a well‑earned pause: time off work, fuller diaries, fuller tables, and time spent with people we love. For many, that also means time with extended family, in‑laws, old dynamics, and familiar emotional tripwires.

This short video was created very much in that spirit. but it carries some genuinely wise reminders that can be surprisingly helpful at this time of year.

Because if you’re anything like me, you might sometimes appreciate a bit of support before walking into situations that can feel… tense, fractious, or frustrating. I find it helpful to have a gentle reminder of what might be about to happen, especially when I know I can get triggered without much warning.

So today, I wanted to share something from my favourite book on long‑term romantic relationships — and honestly, one of the most useful relationship resources I’ve ever come across.

Your Brain on Love by Stan Tatkin

The book is Your Brain on Love by relationship therapist Stan Tatkin. It’s primarily available as an audiobook (you can listen for free on Spotify or via Audible), though Stan has written many excellent physical books too if you’re still looking for a gift.

He writes about marriage, dating, and long‑term partnership with warmth, realism, and humour. I’ve read a lot of books on relationships, and this remains my favourite by far.

At the very beginning of the book, Tatkin shares a short, slightly irreverent list he calls “Facts About People.” It made me laugh — and then made me pause — because it’s both playful and deeply accurate.

I thought it was worth sharing here, especially as a festive survival guide for navigating time with other humans.

Facts About People (According to Stan Tatkin)

  • There is nothing more difficult on the planet than another person.

  • All people are annoying.

  • There is no such thing as a low‑maintenance person.

  • Romantic relationships are burdensome.

  • Nobody comes pre‑trained.

  • The need to be parented never ends.

  • Romantic partners are responsible for each other’s past.

  • Most of the time, we don’t know what we’re doing or why.

  • What we don’t know, we make up.

  • Our brains are built more for war than for love.

  • In order to succeed and thrive in the world, we need to be tethered to at least one person.

Why This Matters (Especially Over the Holidays)

It reminds us that:

  • Struggle doesn’t mean failure

  • Tension doesn’t mean something has gone wrong

  • Annoyance is part of connection, not a sign you’ve chosen the wrong people

Most of us are doing the best we can with brains that are wired for threat, protection, and old survival patterns — not calm conversations around the dinner table.

And yet, despite all of this, we still need each other. We thrive when we are tethered. We heal in relationship. We grow through connection.

Which is why the final line matters most of all. Find a way to be kind to each other.

Including — and perhaps especially — when things feel strained.

A Gentle Wish for the Festive Season

As you move through the coming weeks, I hope you get a chance to down tools, rest, and recover. I hope you find moments of warmth, laughter, and genuine connection.

And if things get tricky — with partners, parents‑in‑law, siblings, or anyone else — maybe this list can sit quietly in the back of your mind as a reminder:

Nothing has gone wrong. This is just people being people.

Be kind where you can. And be kind to yourself too.

Wishing you a gentle and restorative festive season.

James

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James O'Halloran
As a Business Coach I help Founders and those in Career Transition unlock problems and increase self-mastery so that they are confident in their direction and leadership. Through Career and Business Coaching, I help people who want to disrupt the(ir) status quo.

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