Inner conflict is something we all experience at some point. Whether it’s the internal tug-of-war between desires, decisions, or emotions, it can be draining and confusing.
For me and my clients, understanding Parts Work or Internal Family Systems (IFS) has been a game-changer in addressing these conflicts. It offers a new way to look at how we think, feel, and make decisions.
By recognising the different “Parts” within ourselves, we can better understand the root of our internal struggles, ultimately leading to more peace and clarity.
But what exactly is Parts Work, and how can it help you resolve inner conflict? Let’s dive in.
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
Internal Family Systems (IFS), also known as Parts Work, is an integrative approach to psychotherapy developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. IFS combines systems thinking with the concept that the mind is composed of distinct subpersonalities or “Parts,” each with its own unique perspective, motivations, and feelings.
We all have different Parts inside us.
For example, one Part of you may want to take a break, while another might argue against it. Then, a third Part suggests a compromise: stop working at 4 pm. This type of internal dialogue happens frequently and reflects the conflicts we experience between our Parts and their varying desires and thoughts.
Understanding Inner Conflict Through Parts Work
We’ve all had moments of inner conflict. Perhaps you’re debating what to eat for dinner—“Part of me really fancies pasta,” while another Part argues, “But you haven’t had pizza in ages!” These inner battles are more than simple indecisiveness; they’re the result of multiple Parts within us having different perspectives.
Understanding this inner conflict through the lens of Parts Work can provide clarity. The challenges we face in decision-making, emotional responses, and even life choices are often the result of these internal Parts pulling us in different directions.
Visualising Your Inner System
To help make sense of this, imagine yourself as the benevolent CEO of a company. The “you” here refers to your core self. In IFS, this is called self-energy: the calm, wise part of you that isn’t a “Part” itself but can make a magnificent leader if / when it gets the space and freedom to do so (from all your other Parts).
Now, imagine sitting at a boardroom table where different Parts of you are present. The Peacekeeping Part might sit next to the Critic Part. The “Let’s get it done” Part is there alongside the “Let’s reflect and think long-term” Part. As the benovelent CEO, your role is to ensure that each Part is well looked after and supported individually -and- that all these Parts work together harmoniously, helping them collaborate for the greater good. This is essentially how Parts Work functions—it’s about recognising and harmonising these internal voices and helping the individual Parts become healthy, take rest and ultimately evolve.
Increasing Awareness of Your Parts
The reason I introduce this model to clients is to help them grow their awareness of what’s happening internally. With awareness comes choice, and with choice comes freedom. The more aware you become of your Parts, the more you can choose how to respond to them.
Here’s how you can start increasing your awareness of your Internal Family System:
- Acknowledge Your Parts: Understand that you have a multitude of Parts inside you. Each one has its own set of motivations, fears, and perspectives.
- Recognise Long-Serving Parts: Some of your Parts have been working tirelessly for you since childhood. While they mean well, they may still operate from a juvenile perspective.
- Get to Know Your Parts: Your Parts want to help, but sometimes their methods are unhelpful. For example, a Worrying Part may kick in just as you’re trying to sleep, or a “More is Good” Part may encourage overeating. Another Part may try to keep you safe by preventing you from taking risks.
Listening to Your Parts
Once you’ve identified your Parts, the next step is learning to listen to them. Each Part is trying to get your attention for a reason, and by understanding that reason, you can work with your Parts more effectively.
Ask yourself these key questions:
- What is this Part saying?
- How is this Part feeling?
- How is this Part behaving?
By reflecting on these questions, you begin to understand the motivations and fears of each Part. This deeper understanding helps you manage inner conflict more effectively.
Awareness Leads to Freedom
Simply recognising that you have different Parts inside you can be transformative. With awareness comes choice, and with choice comes freedom. As you start to understand your Parts, you gain the power to reduce inner conflict and make more intentional, conscious choices. You’ll also begin to see that many of the internal struggles you experience are your Parts trying to protect or guide you, often in ways that may not always be helpful.
By growing this awareness, you move closer to resolving inner conflict and achieving a greater sense of balance and peace.
Want to Explore Your Parts?
If this resonates with you and you’d like to become more aware of your Parts, get in touch. We can book a trial session, allowing you to experience first-hand how Parts Work can help you reduce inner conflict and make meaningful progress. As the saying goes: nothing ventured, nothing gained.
